commentary

9 posts

So, You Said it’s Over…

How to handle the breakup when D/s is involved. As in all relationships, we would hope one would conduct themselves in a manner that reflects well on both their character and their ability to use previous partners as a reference of, good conduct or character. For this writer, anyway, I will frequently ask questions like, “If I asked your previous partners, what would they tell me about your ability to communicate? How did they feel […]

Reality vs. Role Play

Many of us live our lives half-offline, half-online. The degree to which we form relationships between the two realms is personal choice. Some believe they are entitled to do whatever they wish and behave however they want without repercussion or consequence, and due to the false perception that online interactions aren’t “real”, this behaviour is far worse online than it is offline. Where two or more humans are interacting, regardless of forum, it is real. […]

On Ownership and Collars

Owners and slaves sometimes have difficulties with misconceptions and assumptions from people outside of the relationship. Frequently, these result from preconceived notions about collars and a slave’s place in general. This is not about “room”, “house”, or “play slaves” who often exist to serve everyone and anyone. It is about the slaves in TPE relationships who answer to a single person. Usually. There are some couples or poly groups who enjoy joint ownership. Regardless, the […]

High-Protocol is a Dead Internet Phenomena… or Is It?

Preface: This post is the sixth and last in a series of posts regarding protocol. Put together, they are really, really long. If you have the reading attention span of a gnat on methamphetamines, then the TL;DR version is this: Protocol exists in nearly every BDSM/Kink partnership, whether occasional play partners to full-fledged TPE relationships. It’s not a question of whether to protocol but whether to add degrees of protocol. There’s also a discussion on […]

Why Protocol is a Personal Style Thing vs. a Lifestyle Standard

Preface: This post is the fifth in a series of posts regarding protocol. Put together, they are really, really long. If you have the reading attention span of a gnat on methamphetamines, then the TL;DR version is this: Protocol exists in nearly every BDSM/Kink partnership, whether occasional play partners to full-fledged TPE relationships. It’s not a question of whether to protocol but whether to add degrees of protocol. There’s also a discussion on why protocol […]