OhMiBod Better Than Chocolate? Why Yes, It Is.

IMAG1015angi and I have been talking about reviving our old fun with toy reviews again, so I decided to dive in and do one on the OhMiBod Better Than Chocolate Music Edition. For those of you unfamiliar with OhMiBod, they first came out in 2006. I got my first one, the Naughtibod, that year. It died fast. Last year, I got the G-Spot 3.OH Music Vibrator, and it worked well. Until I broke the cord during a moment with myself. Enter wireless replacement, Better Than Chocolate.

Specs:

  • Tongue-like contours formed of phthalates free material.
  • Weight: 128 g (4.5 oz.), manual says 105 g, but according to my food scale, that is without batteries. Nice and light.
  • 4 AAA batteries needed. Website says 2, but to use it in music-mode, you need 2 for the vibe and 2 for the transmitter.
  • “Whisper Quiet” if it’s on the lowest possible settings. The test was using it in public without anyone knowing. More about that later.
  • 9 ft. range on the transmitter.

If it were properly rechargeable, it would be a bit better, but that’s what rechargeable batteries are for. The specs say that you’ll get up to 3 hours of play out of one full battery charge. I’ve gotten at least double that with good batteries. In non-music mode, it’s waterproof up to 1 m (3 ft.).

In non-music mode, there are the usual multi-speed and pattern settings. To control these, you merely have to glide your fingertip up and down the slider. This touch feature is fantastic, and it still responds even once it’s gotten wet. And really? If you’re not wet by the time you need to adjust intensity, then something has gone horribly wrong. Like sudden onset coma.

The transmitter is barely bigger than the batteries, and it plugs into the headphone jack on your device. I’ve used it with my phone, tablet, and PC but prefer it with my phone. The transmitter has a dial to adjust the intensity of the music interpretation to the vibe with a mere finger twitch, let alone entire glide. Useful for super-quick adjustments. The volume controls on your device do two things. The first is to simply control the volume for listening. Second, not all music comes with the same levels, so some songs need higher volume to even send a proper signal.

As good as the touch control is, I prefer the slider on the transmitter. The unique property of the OhMiBod line is, of course the music-mode. When the music changes so does the sensation it provides. A rise in volume, change to the beat, or even the voice will alter the vibrations. A lull may even cause a dead stop in stimulation. There’s also a free app with a $4.99 add-on that lets you control the vibe from your device’s screen and allow someone else to control the vibe over the Internet. That’s another review for another day. Because of the music factor alone, even without the app and add-on, unlike a lot of vibes, this toy is great for interactive play. Just have your partner pick the music for you.

This past weekend (March 8 and 9), I was playing with a friend who had me edging. For about 24 hours. Non-stop. Because he’s mean, never mind that I adore it. I had to use the Better Than Chocolate tucked into panties in conjunction with a glass plug. (Side note: Wear the right clothing, keep the volume and intensity at a minimum, and it’s possible to wander around shopping while it’s in use without anyone being the wiser. Assuming you can learn how to walk properly with it there. Pro Tip: Do not do any medium to heavy lifting with stairs involved. We’ll leave it at that. Just don’t.)

I reminded that it could use music and asked for a playlist. Why use the mediocre functions when you can up the ante? The “short” list I requested turned into 33 songs, which was good since I had to use the vibe overnight. 34 if you count the Red Green Show theme song.  Here’s the rest of the playlist. Scroll past if you wish:

  1. 3 Doors Down – Kryptonite
  2. Aerosmith – Living on the Edge (Despite its inclusion for the amusement factor, this is a good one for a nice ebb and flow)
  3. AWOLNATION – Sail (This one nearly killed me. I wasn’t quite ready to find out what the punishment for coming before he said to would be, and coming back from the edge with this song was extremely difficult.)
  4. Bobby Brown – My Perogative (Also amusing, given nature of play, but works well with toy.)
  5. Bone Thugs-N-Harmony ft. Tupac – Thug Luv
  6. Billy Talent – Rusted From the Rain (And when not following lovely, frustrating orders, the entire Billy Talent discography makes for a wonderful afternoon. With or without the vibe.)
  7. Brad Paisley – You’ll Never Leave Harlan Alive
  8. Breaking Benjamin – The Diary of Jane
  9. Buckcherry – Crazy Bitch (Also difficult to keep away from the precipice.)
  10. Clipse – Grindin’
  11. Dre ft. Eminem – Forgot About Dre
  12. Dropkick Murphys – Drink and Fight
  13. Eminem – Superman (A lot of Eminem are great with the OhMiBod toys. 3 AM, is a favourite.)
  14. Evans Blue – Cold
  15. Guns n’ Roses – Welcome to the Jungle (So good. Not the best. But so good.)
  16. Johnny Cash – Hurt (Nice, soothing reprieve almost. Might help that I adore this song.)
  17. Kansas – Carry On My Wayward Son
  18. Metallica – Enter Sandman (If you’re edging, and randomizing your list, make sure this type of music is on a downswing.)
  19. Lynrd Skynrd – Simple Man
  20. Toby Keith – I Love This Bar (Even if you can’t stand country music, load some up anyway and don’t listen. Just feel.)
  21. Mumford and Sons – Little Lion Man
  22. Nine Inch Nails – Closer (This and Sail. More about that later.)
  23. Kelly – Ignition
  24. Seether – Broken
  25. Shinedown – 45 (Another that will likely feature in many playlists for this toy in future.)
  26. Slipknot – Vermillion Pt. 2
  27. Snoop Dogg – Drop it Like it’s Hot
  28. Spirit of the West – Home for a Rest
  29. The Rolling Stones – Paint it Black (While not in this list, I’ve put Might as Well Get Juiced in a playlist before, and just. Yes. Yes. Yes.)
  30. Taylor Swift – Blank Space (I popped the earbuds out, because don’t like her voice, but it translated nicely without having to listen to it.)
  31. The Notorious B.I.G. – Big Poppa
  32. Theory of a Deadman – Santa Monica (And a number of their other songs on other days.)
  33. Three Days Grace – Home

Sail and Closer have become my favourite two songs to use with this toy. To the point that when finally told I could come, they were the only two I used. Even if you don’t like either song, try them without listening to them. Can’t go wrong with over 30 orgasms, probably closer to 40. I lost count somewhere between a baker’s dozen and 30. Vibrators don’t usually produce as many as manual stimulation for me, which is possibly a bit strange, but this one can. It can stay for that alone.

As someone who is hard on toys, I’ve been pleasantly pleased that I’ve had it for 5 months and have not broken it or worn it out. That’s the main reason I didn’t review it within the first week – I wanted to be sure that its benefits weren’t ruined by shoddy engineering and construction. The Better Than Chocolate is absolutely worth the price.

**update: No longer available in OhMiBod store, but no ‘recalls’. If you already have one, you should be safe!

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